We swim in the water of the systems we’re in. And because we’re used to this water—these systems—they come to be invisible and sometimes appear inevitable to us.
The water metaphor comes from a commencement speech given by writer David Foster Wallace in 2005:
There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says “Morning, boys. How’s the water?” And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes “What the hell is water?”
Funny, but it also makes you stop and wonder: What is the water I’m swimming in?
What are the systems that create and define my reality, that provide the stories I live by? What are the core drivers of those systems? What is their essence?
As these systems become visible, additional questions arise. How does swimming in these systems make me feel? Am I buoyed up and flourishing, cruising along in clean, clear, refreshing water? Or am I finding it hard even to stay afloat in murky, unhealthy, or polluted water? And … how is everyone else doing?
For many of us, the water we are currently swimming in—the systems we are navigating—reflects a particular story: an Us-vs.-Them story. This story tells us that our experiences of isolation, division, power-over relationships, and disregard for others is just the way we are – and even how we ought to be.
Living this story drags us down. It drags us down individually, and it drags us down collectively. It’s hard to thrive in this toxic water.
We at Civity reach for a different story: We All Belong.
This story actually has many names.
Justice. Compassion. Solidarity. Dignity. Decency. Respect. Kindness. Ubuntu. Equity. Inclusion. I-Thou. Greeting the Other. Democracy. Empathy. Bridging. Beloved Community. Resilience. Thriving. Social Connection. Difference without Domination. Regeneration. Sustainability. Liberation Theology. Love.
… “From Us vs. Them to We All Belong.”
This story, this civity story, is also all around us. People in communities all over are connecting with each other and reaching out across differences. We are realizing that we don’t have to agree with someone to be in relationship with them. We are acknowledging and acting on awareness of our interdependence with the land and the not-human world that sustains us. We are innovating and taking action to create and sustain another way of being with each other and the world we live in.
The Us-vs.-Them story scoffs at all of this as idealistic and unrealistic.
But the We-All-Belong civity story cannot be suppressed because it is true, because it lives in our humanity. Poet Brian Lewis reminds us:
And perhaps
that is what must now
be protected
Not merely ecosystems
Not merely institutions
But the fragile interior capacities
that allow human beings
to remain human
inside an age
that profits from fragmentation…
Even in turbulent waters, we can all remain human. We can all live out of and into a civity story of relationship and connection and interdependence.
We create the water we swim in.